We Want To Show You Another Miracle - 056
Approximately three weeks ago, I started having lower back pain with paresthesias down my left leg. I’ve had lower back pain before, but this time, the pain was unrelenting and kept me up at night. Only if I’d take four Advil at bedtime would I get a decent night’s sleep.
I was stretching, doing a home exercise program for my back, and using the massager before bedtime. I had started seeing my friend for craniosacral therapy, a gentle, hands-on technique used on the skull and spine to promote pain relief by decreasing tension. My friend Nataya and my sister Dianne were doing long-distance healing on me.
Then, the Advil started upsetting my stomach, so I stopped it and went back to difficulty sleeping. I was pulling out all the stops, and nothing seemed to be helping. I finally called my radiation oncologist’s office to let them know, and they ordered a lumbar spine MRI.
Testing stress
As soon as the MRI was ordered, my stress level increased, and I began having dark thoughts about what we’d find. The thoughts were worse at night when I was trying to sleep. As I’ve mentioned before, unrelenting pain, especially at night when you are trying to sleep, makes your mind go down some dark alleys.
I was thinking things like,
Oh, this is where the cancer’s been hiding. It’s finally going to show itself.
I called the imaging center and scheduled the test for Sunday, January 26. As I was driving there, I thought, “We want to show you another miracle.” Then the thought came again, and again, and again, and was more intense each time. It was as if someone had told me that sentence a while before, and I remembered our conversation.
That thought was so loud and repetitive that I laughed to myself. People are going to think I’m crazy when I tell them this. And who is we? Intuitively, I knew this message was coming from the spirit realm. For some, “We” might be the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
I felt this message was coming from my angels and my parents, who are in spirit. My father had previously come to me when I was stressing about the results of my PET CT while getting the test done.
I arrived at the imaging center, checked in, and sat down. I felt compelled to type the message I had been hearing into my phone. As soon as I did that, I felt this sense of peace. I knew the scan wouldn’t show cancer.
Two days later, I got the results, and I was right. The scan showed multilevel spondylosis, which is degeneration of the vertebrae, and neuroforaminal stenosis at L5/S1. The findings matched my symptoms, and there was no evidence of malignancy.
Another miracle
This is yet another miracle in this long journey. After all, prostate cancer metastasizes to the bones in 60-90% of patients, and the majority of those have metastases to the spine. After over seven years of metastatic prostate cancer, the inability to tolerate androgen deprivation, and despite a PSA over 300, I have never been diagnosed with bone metastases. That is a miracle!
It reminded me that I’m being watched over and that everything I’ve done thus far has been right for me. It also reminded me to keep my faith and not give in to negative thinking.
It’s okay to have negative thoughts, but when those thoughts overwhelm you and you can’t relinquish them, that darkness starts to take over in the form of hopelessness and depression.
What do I do not to let fearful thoughts overwhelm me? I rely on my faith that no matter what happens, I’ll be okay. That is the ultimate faith.
I call upon my spiritual liaisons, which will be different for everyone. I also lean on those who love me and relinquish the thought that I’m a burden to them because I know I’d do the same for them if our roles were reversed.
I can’t imagine how terrifying this cancer journey would be without my faith and my loved ones. However, I’ve found that trusting my ability to heal is the most important thing to have faith in.
Whether the healing results in a cure or not, I have faith in my ability to resolve pain and release the fears, if not for a little while. And to remember the power of the mind over the body.
As soon as I got the MRI results, my pain immediately dropped fifty percent. We are a body-mind, and our perceptions of stressful events directly impact our physiology and can magnify whatever pain or fear we are experiencing.
No matter what challenges arise, don’t surrender to fear. Trust yourself to navigate the path ahead, making choices that bring relief and peace of mind.
That may mean seeing your physician for medication, speaking with your clergy, praying with your spiritual liaisons, speaking with a mental health counselor, leaning on your loved ones, taking a walk in nature, or all of the above. The key is to take action.
Full-court press
Before recommending an interesting article on Substack, I’d like to let you know that I’ve decided to initiate a full-court press regarding my persistently rising PSA.
I’ve begun a controversial three-drug regimen that isn’t FDA-approved for treating prostate cancer but has some anecdotal evidence to support it. I’m not going to name the three drugs unless my PSA drops while I’m taking them.
I will follow up with my radiation oncologist for labs and another PET CT scan in April. I figure two months is an adequate test of this regimen, and if it works, I will reveal the names of the drugs.
Keep your fingers crossed; I also appreciate the prayers and positive energy.
An interesting article
My friend Howard Wolinsky is a seasoned journalist, thought leader, and patient advocate for men with prostate cancer. He writes The Active Surveillor and Prostate Cores on Substack. He recently wrote an interesting article about the disparity in funding for research in breast cancer versus prostate cancer.
He wrote that the National Cancer Institute and the American Cancer Society’s (ACS) funding of prostate cancer has consistently lagged behind that of breast cancer.
In 2024, the ACS spent $121.1 million on breast cancer research, $37 million on prostate cancer, $67 million on lung cancer research, and $62 million on colorectal research. Howard points out this clear funding gap between breast and prostate cancer.
William Dahut, M.D., PhD. is the chief scientific officer for the ACS. In an article Howard wrote for Medscape last year, the ACS denied any gender bias in research funding. Dr. Dahut said the group makes funding decisions "based on finding the most impactful science regardless of tumor type.”
In my opinion, Dr. Dahut’s response—that funding is based on ‘the most impactful science’—sidesteps the real question. If the process were truly neutral, why does prostate cancer consistently receive far less funding than breast cancer? Simply stating the criteria doesn’t explain the disparity.
Howard suggests that if you’re considering donating to a cancer charity, you should ask what the charity has done for prostate cancer patients like you recently.
I'd like you to read Howard’s article. It’s eye-opening.
Until the next newsletter, stay healthy.
And much love,
Keith
🙏❤️ praying for u❤️🙏
Hi Dr. Holden,
This interests me. FYI, this is my story. Following a RARP in 2019, I reached BCR with a 2.0 PSA in 2022. A PSMA PET revealed a met on my left sacrum. I opted to have SRT using PBT at the Roberts PB Center at UPenn. They radiated the met on my sacrum, my iliac chain, and my prostate bed during thirty-four PBT sessions. My PSA dropped to nearly undetectable. My PSA began to rise again. it is now 3.02. I have had three PSMA PET scans and none have resulted in any dye uptake or identified mets. Hmm? I have a growing nodule in my left lung. A year ago, the nodule was 7mm and now it is 20 mm. Maybe PCa? Who knows? It is not indicated to be PCa according to its lack of dye uptake during the PSMA PET scans. I will have a FDG PET scan shortly. I cannot have the nodule surgically removed because I am being treated for ILD. My pulmonologist and medical oncologist fear that surgery involving my compromised respiratory system might tip me into further respiratory failure possibly causing permanent lifetime incubation. Not good. So, it appears that I will return to UPenn to have the nodule radiated with PB treatments. I have not used any HT nor had chemotherapy treatments nor do I want to begin those treatments. I’ll be 78 years old next month.